Last Tuesday was a rough day. I had been to a home school group function, hoping to meet new people in the area and came away feeling lost in the group of 100+ home schoolers there. It was nice but chaotic and the few people I spoke to I lost track of in the crowd. The event was at a library so we got a card and some books before heading home. Littlest seemed to think he was in a play area and continually tried to run in circles around me. I say tried because I restrained him by squeezing his shoulder muscle enough to keep him in one place, albeit squealing the whole time. The car started making a funny noise on the way home and the boys talked incessantly.
Biggest has handled Hubby's absence during the week by becoming the man of the house. He's done this completely of his own volition and it is driving me nuts. He bosses Littlest around and tries to correct me when I have not acted according to his wishes. This is very much in his nature, he'll be a great leader someday- if I don't throttle him first.
Littlest has reacted by exploding. I can't think of a better way to describe it. He has become VERY physical. He is either tackling his brother or throwing toys at him. He is talking back and taking his own sweet time in everything he does. Not to do it more effectively but to control the situation. Now the little boy who has a great imagination and has always played well by himself is a disaster if someone (i.e. me or Biggest) isn't playing with him at all times.
So, back to Tuesday. We got home from our outing to find a note from the apartment maintenance department saying they couldn't find the problem with the refridgerator and to call if it happens again (it makes a horribly loud noise everytime the freezer cycles that wakes me up at least 3 times a night - we have finally stopped jumping when it cycles during the day) and a message from the local bible study that I was planning to join that said they don't have room in the children's program for the kids but that I can come by myself. Hello, I am new to the area and DONT HAVE ANYONE TO WATCH THE KIDS. I was also frustrated for the kids. We are travelling on the weekends and haven't planed to join any one church in particular. We have attended a study run by this organization in California for 5 years now and I know they have an excellent program for the kids. And I had just been thinking that in the smaller group setting of bible study I would have a more intimate group with which to socialize, as would the kids.
That night I got the kids to bed on time (7:55 p.m.) and had just sat down to watch the only new show on for the night when the phone rang. It was Hubby. He usually calls just after 7, just before bedtime stories. By the time he talked to both kids it was 8:15. Of course, he wanted to talk to me, which I was happy about, but the show... So, he told me about his day and when I told him about mine he interrupted to ask a question that I had just answered. It turned out he was doing his homework while I was talking and hadn't caught everything I had said. I restrained from throwing the phone and bursting into tears. He apologized. We finished talking and I got off the phone at 8:45. So much for Bones. (It's not an outstanding show but it was the only non-rerun of the night.) So much for vacation.
I went to bed. I was going to pick up Gulliver's Travels but decided to pick up Face to Face instead. I went through the days scriptures/ prayers and it was very centering. Good to get my mind off of me and onto something bigger. I then started the conversation.
Father, Thank you that I have the opportunity to be here with Hubby. Thank you that our apartment is so nice. Lord, I am thankful that I am here but I am sad. I am sad for the things I am missing in California. I want to go to Cathy's wedding. I want to go see my friends. I want to be in Scott's wedding and I want the boys to be in the wedding. I want to be apart of all the things I can't be apart of and it makes me sad.
You will be blessed by missing these things.
Thank you, Lord.
That's all I needed to hear.
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