The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY: April 14

Outside my window... sunshine, fluffy clouds, flowering rose bushes. If it wasn't for this I wouldn't have even looked outside yet.

I am thinking... I have a scratchy throat. I am worried about a friend. I need to get back to teaching. I need to start the yogurt, do laundry and grocery shop.

I am thankful for... my home, family and friends.

From the learning rooms... Gio should be finishing Mr. Popper's penguins today. Still have grammar, writing, history and spelling.

From the kitchen... hopefully homemade yogurt, if I ever get it started.

I am wearing... sweats, a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks. I am always cold.

I am creating... a meal plan and a grocery list .

I am going... to the store after hubby gets home.

I am reading... The Far Side of the World, Clean Eating Magazine May/ June Issue

I am hoping... that this cold passes quickly.

I am hearing... Gio brush his teeth and Dante trying to distract him by shooting at him with an imaginary gun from down the hall.

Around the house... so much to do. Laundry on the laundry couch, dishes in the sink, school papers to be filed away.

One of my favorite things... coffee and mid mornings with my boys.

A few plans for the rest of the week: tomorrow Gio get his expander and braces on his four front teeth.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Makeup (Warning, shallow girlie posting)

I think everyone knows that I wear makeup. There was a day that I wouldn't leave the house without it. Parenthood seems to have bumped makeup down on my to do list. My usual makeup regime involves foundation, loose powder, blush, eye shadow (3 colors) , eye liner, eye lash curler, mascara, lip liner and lipstick. Wow, I am exhausted just thinking about it. For years I have heard about the mineral powder. All you have to do is wisp a bit of powder on your face and voila! Your skin tone is evened out and you don't need the creme foundation and powder of choice. I was so skeptical. Two days ago I broke down and bought Mary Kay's Mineral Foundation. I tried it this morning and was stunned. It was fabulous! A little brush here, a little brush there and I now get to remove one step (the messy one) and one product from my routine! It's the little things.

I suppose this was a very shallow place to start my re-entry to my blog but I was pleased as punch and had no one to tell. :-)

Remembering Grandpa

My grandpa died this morning. He was my paternal grandfather. My dad's dad. My grandpa.

Grandpa was a big man. He stood over 6 feet. He had strong arms and big hands. He had a big voice but not a scary big voice. A quiet big voice. Grandpa had a twinkle in his eyes.

Revisiting memories of Grandpa I see that I liked to take things from him. Apparently, when I was little bitty I swiped his beer can (an old yellow Coors can) and left him backwash. I took the last blueberry muffin one time. They were his favorite. I ate all his bean dip at Christmas, also his favorite. When he'd get home from work I would run for his chair and be sitting in it pleased as punch waiting for him to shoo me out of it.

In the early years Grandpa and Grandma had horses. We would follow Grandpa down to the barn to watch him feed the horses. On days that we got to ride we would wait impatiently while he saddled the horses. Usually us kids would wait down at the arena for the adults to bring the horses but sometimes I would get to ride the horse, with Grandpa leading it, through the corral, down the path and into the arena. I remember one day being one of the last to ride. The horse was hot and tired and I wasn't very big or heavy so I doubt she even knew I was on her back. She decided to roll in the dirt. I remember her starting to roll and Grandpa pulling me off before she hit the ground. I was safe with Grandpa.

Grandpa was a gentle man. A loving man. A wonderful husband, father and grandpa. I'm so sad that he is gone.

Answers to This

In my last post I thought through my recent lack of motivation. I took time to put the situation into words, ponder it and pray about it. Within 30 minutes of posting I started getting answers. Praise God!

I realized (felt like I was told) that I tend to work best with a goal and a timeline. I need immediate goals and immediate time lines. Sadly, my children's overall develop through life, while an admirable goal and one that I do overall hold, doesn't keep me hopping. My house is cleanest when someone is immanently coming over. I am more productive when I need to get things done in order to be able to ______.

I recognize that this is not totally unusual so I'm not beating myself up over it. I just need something to work for.

I used to have a play date once a week with friends. I busted my tail to get everything done so that I could enjoy myself without all the things I didn't get done hanging over me. Since we moved I get together with these friends about once every 2 months. By then it really is a need and not just a play day so I go regardless of what needs to be done. I lost my imminent timeline and reward.

So, what do I do? I'm not entirely sure. I need social interaction. I get grumpy and depressed without it. A 5 minute conversation with my neighbor cheers me up enough for a load of laundry and dishes. I'm thinking of trying to schedule a regular play time with her. I also think I need to explore a few more activities in our home school group. Maybe we'll start going to park day. The schedule doesn't really fit ours but I think the boys need more social interaction as well.

I have also set a few timeline goals for myself. We'll see how long this discipline lasts. But, for now, I got my answer. I just have to do something with it.

This

"a better life must take place in the here and now. Only what I can attain today not what I hope for tomorrow."

This is the general theme of many writings I have come across lately. I have found myself procrastinating a lot. I have fallen into a pattern of doing the minimum and then withdrawing to my office and losing myself in the unimportant.

This is not the way I am supposed to live my life. This is not living life to the fullest. This is not being faithful with what God has given me. This is not what I want my legacy to be.

"This" is deeper than I can put into words right now. The impressions and feelings swirling around in my heart and my head. I am still trying to sort out what and how I can correct this pattern. I have many tools within my reach. Many options for living life different. But, I find my complacency somehow comfortable. Like a little cave I can crawl into and hide.

I think I am struggling with why I feel the desire to hide. Is it laziness? Is it apathy? It definitely selfishness. I feel like I am seeking protection. But protection from what?

In the meantime, I have responsibilities. I have people who need more than I am giving.

Father, help me to rise above this; whatever this is. Give me the desire, the energy and the wisdom to do what needs to be done. Help me to do it with a content and sincere heart. Help me to live my life in a way that will glorify you.

MOTHERS Act (My Postpartum Story)

I suffered from postpartum depression after youngest was born. Early on it probably could have been diagnosed as postpartum psychosis. By the time youngest was 4 weeks old I didn't feel like I could handle life. I didn't want my children to grow up knowing that their mother abandoned them so I was going to take them out with me. I had a plan. It all made perfect sense.

Sitting in my room on my bed with my 4 week old nearby I was contemplating my plan. Running through it all in my head. Timing it so that I would be as merciful as possible but also would complete the job. I couldn't live the way I was. I didn't want them to live without me. I knew I couldn't live with what I was going to do so I had to be sure it would be over for all of us.

Sitting on my bed, clear as day I heard His voice. HE said, "This is a lie." Clear as day I saw the truth. I don't know how to explain it. One minute, what I was planning was the only thing that made sense. It seemed so true. The next minute I could see so clearly the lie that it was. Reality came through. All I could do was cry and put myself before God in awe that He would want to save me and thankful that He did.

The next few weeks were difficult but the lie never tricked me again. By 6 weeks I was able to kinda admit to people where I was at emotionally and talk through things. I was terrified at this point that if I was fully honest my children would be taken from me and I would lose all respect/ trust from my husband. By six months I still felt disconnected from life but I felt so much better and even said, "I suffered from postpartum depression." By 1 year I realized that even at 6 months I was still suffering from it, just not in the form of psychosis. By 2 years I hit a day where I thought to myself, "I remember you. This is what it's like to be me." It took 2 full years after youngest was born to feel like "myself," even though I hadn't realized how much of myself I had lost.

It is by the voice of God that I sit here 4 years later with healthy happy children and a wonderful marriage.

There is currently a bill before the Senate called the MOTHERS Act. I rarely support government involvement and dollars for anything, preferring it to come through the private sector but I think this is a good idea.

The Moms Opportunity to Access Help, Education, Research and Support for Postpartum Depression Act, or MOTHERS Act (S. 1375), will ensure that new mothers and their families are educated about postpartum depression, screened for symptoms and provided with essential services. In addition, it will increase research into the causes, diagnoses and treatments for postpartum depression. The bill is sponsored by Senators Menendez and Durbin.

Postpartum depression is a serious and disabling condition that affects up to 20 percent of new mothers -- as much as 800,000 American women each year. Yet only 15 percent of these women will receive any assessment or treatment. Let me repeat. With all we know and as smart as we are, only 15% of 800,000 women will get diagnosed and treated. That is so wrong on so many levels. Women are not being diagnosed because they're not being educated and they're not being screened. Untreated, the consequences of maternal mood disorders range from chronic, disabling depression to death. The impact of untreated maternal depression on infants/children ranges from behavioral and learning disabilities to depression and, in the worst case scenarios, death from infanticide.

Specifically, the MOTHERS Act will help new moms by:

• Providing important education and screening on postpartum depression (PPD) that can lead to early identification and treatment. The legislation includes two grants to help health care providers educate, identify and treat PPD.
• Expanding important research to improve and discover new treatments, diagnostic tools and educational materials for providers. Since the exact cause of PPD isn't known, research continues to be the key to unlocking the mystery of this condition.

The bill is currently with the Health, Education, Labor & Pensions (HELP) Committee of the Senate. If the majority of the HELP Committee members endorse the MOTHERS Act, the bill will move forward for consideration by the Senate. Without Senate sponsors, the bill could languish in committee and await reintroduction at a future date. The moms of America can't wait for that. Most Senators rarely hear from mothers (and others!), and phone calls from you and your readers will cause them to sit up and take notice on a specific issue. Writing or sending emails has much less impact.

Today, October 24, 2007 bloggers all over are joining in the call to call. Please take time right now to call your senator and ask them to support this bill. Below is a sample of what to say as well as phone numbers. It will take very little time to call. Please call. If I didn't include your state senator you can go here for a list of all the state senator offices: http://www.postpartum.net/take-action.html

Suggested Script: "Hello this is (your name) one of Senator (Senator's name) constituents from (your town). I am calling to ask the Senator to co-sponsor The MOTHERS Act bill number S. 1375, sponsored by Senator Menendez, which will provide funding for research, education, screening and treatment of postpartum depression."

Arkansas: Lincoln (D-AR) 202-224-4843Pryor (D-AR) 202-224-2353

California: Boxer (D-CA) 202-224-3553 - Thank you to Senator Barbara Boxer for signing on as a sponsor. Feinstein (D-CA) 202-224-3841

Montana: Baucus (D-MT) 202-224-2651Tester (D-MT) 202-224-2644

Pennsylvania: Casey (D-PA) 202-224-6324Specter (R-PA) 202-224-4254

Virginia: Warner (R-VA) 202-224-2023Webb (D-VA) 202-224-4024

Wisconsin: Feingold (D-WI) 202-224-5323Kohl (D-WI) 202-224-5653

Thank you to Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress for her segment yesterday on The Morning Show with Mike and Julie, for her work in bringing awareness and support to this and for her wonderful blog site devoted to this subject.

Schooling boys

Grammar: Gio is doing very well in grammar. He can take a sentence and identify the subject noun(SN), verb(V), adverb(ADV), adjective(ADJ), article adjective(A) and prepositional phrase(Prep Phrase aka prep (P) and object of the prep (OP) and all words in between.) We also started creating sentences using a word bank. He is given several words to choose from in each part-of-speech category. He has to use those words to put together a sentence. He doesn't always like the word options so when he is done with his required work he is allowed to pick his own words to create a sentence. Here is today's original creation following the given formula:

A ADJ ADJ SN V ADV Prep Phrase

A good focused soldier shot accurately from a plane.

History: This week we are learning about Ancient China. Today we learned that the Shang Dynasty lasted for 500 years beginning around 1766BCE. It is believed that the first Chinese writing, called pictograms, was developed during the Shang Dynasty. We looked at the pictograms for sun, waves, house, bow and arrow and soldier. Gio narrates back important facts in what I read to him from our text. Narration: "They ruled 500 years. They had bow and arrows, shields and armor." He was then assigned to choose 2 pictograms to copy. His choices:

and

Science: Most of this semester we have been focused on the Human Body. However, recently, Gio has developed an interest in Birds of Prey. We checked out a few books from the library and today read about Golden and Bald Eagles. The final part of the chapter discussed the status of Bald Eagles and how few are left. I explained "endangered species" and said that it is illegal to catch or kill a bald eagle. He was very sad that he can not have one as a pet (even after discussing the 8 foot nests, 3 inch beaks, 4 talons for tearing meat, the fact that they eat said meat and that they don't clean up after themselves; keeping rotting meat in their huge nests.) The conversation ended with the phrase, "No, you can not have a Bird of Prey."

I did however concede that if he is still interested once he is a teenager we'll discuss falconry.

Quote

"If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come."

--C. S. Lewis, "Learning in War-Time", The Weight of Glory